Ellsworth ATA Martial Arts Academy - Ellsworth ATA Blog Spot

Attitude of Gratitude

Thu, 03 May 2012 21:11:04 -0500

Kids can understand and appreciate things more then we give them credit for! I'm always touched when my own children show sympathy and compassion for others. I talked with our students today about WHY I have been encouraging them to raise money for children living with autism. Of course, they have been motivated to raise money to earn prizes! Nothing wrong with that! I offered prizes as motivation to get them fired up! At this point, I'm sure they are tired of hearing us constantly talk about this fundraising project. That makes now the perfect time to talk about the REAL reason I want them to fund raise! They have done the work where their motivation is "them". That motivation didn't last very long. In fact, fund raising has become work, and the motivation I offered isn't quite strong enough to get them to persevere and keep working. They can get the items they're trying to win other ways. Mom, dad or grandma will buy them weapons and sparring gear eventually. They know that. Raising money is HARD! Why keep working so hard when they can get the items in an easier way?

I explained to my students my real purpose is to help them gain positive attitudes! People with positive attitudes are people that achieve much in life. They're people who others want to be around! They motivate people, they're leaders! People with negative attitudes are unable to really accomplish anything in their lives. Not only are they themselves unpleasant, they share their negative attitudes with others bringing everyone around them down! People who are negative are people who feel sorry for themselves, they are unable to see the good in tough situations, they're simply ungrateful.

I was pleased to see my students be so attentive when I talked to them about what it's like to live with autism. I was able to help my students understand that these kids struggle in areas that my students take for granted. Simple things like being able to ask for what they want or control their environment are daily struggles for children with autism. My ultimate goal with this fund raising drive was to encourage my students to start habits that involve helping others. If we are busy looking for ways to help others who have hardships greater then ours, we will have a perspective that enables us to have gratitude for things that we would normal take for granted. Ingratitude shows a self service mindset. Gratitude naturally leads to a positive attitude! A positive attitude leads to being more productive and industrious. Not only are you grateful for what you have, you are able to think positively about what you can achieve!

Let's get a little more radical now. Let's take this farther then gratitude for the small things in life. Let's talk about having gratitude for the difficult things in life! I'm a person of faith, and part of my belief system is that I'm to be thankful for ALL things, that means even the HARD things. I personally find that when I'm feeling down, or sorry for myself, I'm usually having an internal pity party. I strive to have positive "self talk" in these situations. It's amazing what happens when I do this. It doesn't matter what it is that is causing me stress or worry, the minute I say, "thank you" for the problem, my attitude and mood change! Not only does my mood change, but I am then able to think more productively and better take steps to either resolve, or simply cope with whatever I'm struggling with. It's hard to function when you're feeling down. I know there have been times when I've sat on my couch and been unable to even think straight. I'd much rather be thankful for my hardships and be able to be productive, then feel sorry for myself and live in a fog of depression.

We can't control many things in our lives but we can control how we respond to our circumstances.

Michael J. Fox went from superstar to advocate. He is labeled as someone who has "incurable optimism". His book "Looking Up" centers on this topic. Fox says he "see's challenges as opportunities". Michael J. Fox is an example of not only how gratitude can affect your attitude psychologically, but how you can benefit physiologically. Optimism produces endorphin's that naturally make you feel good. Michael has stated that stress exasperated his symptoms making it even more valuable to him to maintain a positive attitude. Stress is less likely when you are living a life of gratitude.

Christopher Reeve, Superman himself, suffered one of the ultimate tragedies in loosing all his physical abilities. Talk about going from one extreme to the other! Reeve's accident allowed us to see that his superpower wasn't his physical abilities, but rather something he had inside him. He said, "What I do is based on powers we all have inside us; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have-and you don't have to be superman to do it." His conviction was "nothing is impossible". What a great attitude to have! What a great way to view life! It didn't matter that he was viewing life from a wheelchair!

Our Grand Master, H.U. Lee quoted, "Today Not Possible, Tomorrow Possible"

I am thankful for my trials and my failures. Because of them, I am wiser, more compassionate, and more appreciative for the things many people take for granted. I CHOOSE to be grateful.

Leadership Skills: What we're teaching our students

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:07:29 -0500

     One of the things that made me choose to train with the American Taekwondo Association is their focus on leadership life skills. You know, attributes such as integrity, respect, attitude, honor, loyalty and perseverance. As I trained to become an instructor it was evident to me that knowing how to preform martial arts techniques played a very small role in the requirements to become a Nationally Certified Instructor in the ATA. Not only did I need to demonstrate a complete understanding of the above mentioned life skills, I need to be able to teach them to my students. Along with this I need to learn how to teach in a way that demonstrated these life skills in every aspect of my interactions with the students and their families. I wanted to use this blog to share with you a few of the Leadership Life Skills and what it is we are teaching our students. I can't claim all the definitions, the ATA sends me piles of materials to help teach these lessons.

     Confidence: Self-Confidence is a natural result to martial arts training. It is the backbone to having the ability to do what's right instead of what's easy. Self-Confidence happens as you begin to believe in yourself and your ability to do something new. During martial arts training you are able to have small successes which begins the process of building your confidence. As your confidence grows it helps you to believe in yourself and your abilities and allows you the courage to try and achieve even harder goals! You look at who YOU are and what YOU can do, and you stop feeling as though you need to compare yourself to others.

     Attitude: William Jones, the father of American Psychology said, "The most important discovery of our time is that we can alter our lives by altering our attitudes. We want to enhance our students positive attitudes while overcoming the tendency to look at the world negatively. Your attitude is something you develop throughout your life. Other people in our lives can help develop our attitudes to be either negative or positive. It's important to be aware of this when interacting with one another.
                     Positive thinkers are doers, negative thinkers are quitters. We strive to model postive thinking to our students in everything we do! We want to give them the tools they need to conquer negativity in their lives and to view life in a positive manner.

     Integrity: Integrity is saying and doing what is right. It is being honest or saying what you mean and saying what you believe to be true. A person with integrity does what he or she says. Dwight D. Eisenhower said, "In order to be a leader a man must have followers. And in order to have followers a man must have their trust.

     Perserverance: Persistence's a key ingredient for success in anything we set out to do in life. If we want to achieve the rank of Black Belt, receive a college diploma, be successful in business or have a happy marriage, we must be persistent. A writer once said, "If you are to reach your goal, you must continue to fire on your target!"
                              When trying to reach our goals and achieve our dreams, we are going to have obstacles. Some people stop and give up when this happens. A person with perseverance doesn't give up! They may stop and evaluate and come up with a new plan. Maybe the obstacle is a failure, instead of giving up in frustration, a persistent person will learn from the failure and then keep moving forward. The greatest achievements often happen after the biggest failures.

Now for my shameless plug! If you want to attended an exciting show that teaches these important leadership skills, please think about attending our 1st ever Ninja Recital! All ticket proceeds to benefit Special Childrens Friends and EEMS.

Teacher/Bully....oh man, don't get me started

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:01:23 -0500

The new viral video has got me extremely worked up. Listening to it more then once is traumatic. I am disgusted with how these educators were talking to these children. I'm even more disgusted that the teacher is still employed by the school district!

If you don't have a child with autism, I will compare how these parents feel to something you can understand. If you are a parent, remember how you felt leaving your one year old with someone besides you to care for them. Your baby can't communicate how they are being treated and you are dependent on other factors to determine how your little one is doing when they are away from you. I remember that feeling. I remember analyzing every bump and bruise, or wondering why my child was in a bad mood. I remember when they began talking and would repeat words or phrases. I was relieved that there was at least some clue as to what they were hearing when away from me. As my child grew I began to relax as they left my protective eye and ventured out into the world more and more. I had confidence that they could communicate to me any issues they had. Parents of children with autism are perpetually stuck in the infant to toddler phase of "parent worry" when leaving their child in the care of someone else. They are never able to experience the relief that you feel when your child is able to fully communicate with you their thoughts and feelings. These parents are dependent on behaviors as clues to how their child is doing. They are forced to have to totally trust their children's educators and caregivers with their child. These educators failed miserably in their responsibility to care for and respect the dignity of this child. I am appalled!

When I am at work, my goal is to give these young people every opportunity to learn to be as independent as possible once they reach adulthood. For one child that may mean working on vocational skills, for another child that may mean teaching them how to self-regulate or be able to function without adult intervention 100% of the time. I won't lie, it's a hard job, and not everyone is cut out for it.

I am a parent, so I naturally am always imagining how I would feel if I had to leave my child, who can't communicate, in the care of someone else. I do this not only concerning how I speak to these children but also in how seriously I take their education! Just because a child can't talk, or they have behaviors that make them appear they don't understand, DOESN'T mean they're stupid! There are many times throughout my day that I think these kids are way smarter then me!!! I wonder how educated these teachers were concerning issues specific to autism. They sound like they are just there to be paid to keep the kids contained for the day.

At work today, we talked about how our conversations and cross talk would sound if we were being secretly recorded! Honestly, there are times that what is being said could be misconstrued if you only heard it and wasn't there to understand the context. Along with that, I think the way you use verbals can sound "rude" to an outside listener. For example, to a nonverbal child I would say "sit" instead of, "____________, could you sit down please". This is because for the nonverbal child, to many words can be overwhelming and simple commands are more appropriate. This is not what the teacher was doing in the video. Honestly, when I first heard about the video, I was concerned that the teacher was just being misunderstood for the way she spoke to the child. I quickly realized that this wasn't the case.

There are many of us out there who consider it an honor and a privilege to educate children living with autism. I know that I personally couldn't imagine doing anything else (except for tae kwon do of course!).

"My Kid Would Never Do That"...My thoughts on the dateline NBC Series

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:50:54 -0500

I love the dateline news series titled, "My Kid Would Never do That!". I know I've been criticized at times for assuming my kids were going to mess up. You know, lie to me, sneak around, tell me what I want to hear, hide things...........I don't know, maybe I'm wrong to think normal teenagers do those kind of things.........ummm........what did you do when you were a teenager? Or, if you're a teenager right now......yeah you know what I'm talking about!

So, do I sound like I'm contradicting myself with all the "positive" talk in previous posts?

Keep Reading

This is what I know.....
Some of the biggest lessons learned in life are learned from our mistakes. I fully believe that our kids do great things because we expect great things from them! While I have high expectations, I'm not blind in that my kids (and myself) are fallible. They ARE going to mess up......This is an absolute fact. The question is.....how do we handle their failures?

First, I advocate that you be proactive. Before your kid has a chance to mess up prepare them with "what if" scenarios. We d this when teaching self defense. We teach kids what to do to NOT get in a situation that's dangerous. We then play "what if".

"What if" the forget to not talk to a stranger
"What if" they open the door to someone they don't know
"What if" they approach the car of someone unfamiliar
"What if" they wander away from mom or dad
"What if" they give out personal information

We, as martial arts instructors, don't assume our kids are going to always handle difficult situations correctly.
We, as parents, shouldn't assume our kids are going to handle difficult choices correctly....
So, are we discussing with our children, "what if"?

"What if you get in the car with someone drinking?"
"What if" you lie to your parents to go to a party and your only ride home is drunk?
"What if" your friends are bullying, and you join in one day
"What if" you go to far with your boyfriend/girlfriend

Are we role playing with our kids? We do this in self-defense classes too! We role play scenerios to allow our kids to practice what they should do or say in various situations. We give them the words to use and then allow them to practice using them. I do this as a parent. My favorite thing to tell my kids is that they have permission to use me as their excuse in tough situations. I have no problem with being the bad guy. Planning what to say and practicing saying it pays off! Be realistic in this too. Don't expect your child to say what YOU consider appropriate. Practice lines that will enable your child to "save face" with their friends. They'll be more likely to make good choices if given tools that are realistic for them to use.

So, what about when your child screws up? First, you need to be AWARE that your child may be struggling. Turning a blind eye to the warning signs and living in denial may be easier in the short term, but in the long term you'll only find youself in a bigger mess. We can't parent with blinders on saying, "not my kid". Guess what, your kid is confronted with difficult choices multiple times a day. We are foolish if we simply assume they're making good choices all of the time!

Ok, here we are, our kid screwed up and we know it.....now what?

My adivice is to first take a big breath and not respond on our first impulse. emotions can crowd good judgment. Once you have had a chance to breathe, think, even ask advice, it's then time to have an upfront talk with your kid. Everything you say should be coated with love not fear. Fear causes us to be overprotective, angry, and unable to hear our child. Love understands our kids make mistakes and its our job to help them learn from them. Remember this, its not about us, our pride, how we look to others, feeling as if we failed if our kids fail. Our kids know these motives. If we want to be effective we need to think, "whats in it for our kids". Teens are by nature, self-centered. Speak to them where they're at.....Whats in it for them if they make good choices? Not only that, but have you asked your teens why they made the bad choice....I'm mean REALLY ask, in a way that shows you care and really want to understand......even if you disagree.

Rule of thumb....what do you want? What do they want? How can you work together so you both can get what you want?

Highlighting A Student Leader/ 2nd Degree Black Belt Erin C./ "My Reason To Relay"

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 15:19:02 -0500

Once again I'm very proud to share with you one of our student leaders! Erin is fourteen years old and is a second degree black belt. I asked her to write about something important to her, Relay for Life. I am always amazed at our young peoples dedication to serving others. A real leader is a leader who is willing to serve!

My Reason to Relay
By Erin Crosthwaite

What is Relay For Life?
Some people think Relay is just walking around a track all night long. Guess what? They’re
wrong. It’s so much more than that. It all started with one guy who raised $27,000 by running
around a track for 24 hours. The next year another person joined him in his “relay” until it
grew into the largest not-for-profit activity in the world! In 2012, over four million people will
participate in 5,200 relays in the United States plus 1,000 more in other countries! The point
of Relay For Life is to come together as a community to do everything we can to fight cancer. I
never want to hear the words, “you have cancer” and I’m guessing you don’t either. Which is
why Relay For Life exists--so that no one will ever have to hear those words again.

What is there to do throughout the night?
When you first think about walking around a track for 18 hours you think that could get slightly
boring. But there are plenty of things to keep you busy. Whether it’s a game of tug-a-war, three
legged races, or giant games of scrabble, you won’t get bored. Not to mention watching the
extreme ninjas from Ellsworth ATA! (www.ellsworthata.com)
All that stuff is great, but the luminaria ceremony may be the best two hours of Relay.

Luminaria Ceremony… what’s that?
Luminaria bags are white bags filled with sand and a candle. On the front of the bag are the
names and/or pictures of somebody who either has or had cancer. Walking around the track
for two hours with all the lights off and just the light from the luminaria bags is like nothing else.
It’s seeing hundreds of bags representing people who have died of cancer, are fighting cancer
or are survivors of cancer. And seeing people crying in front of a bag thinking of someone they
lost to cancer is… I don’t even know how to describe it. I’m so thankful I’ve never had to go
through it. But it makes me want to do everything I personally can to help them.

Why am I involved in Relay?
While most of my passion for helping others comes from being in a family who loves to help
people, some of it comes from being really involved in church, and some of it comes from
karate. Most people go to Relay for Life because they know at least one person who has
been affected by cancer. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or even themselves, we all
know somebody who has or had cancer. But for me, it’s a different story. Do I know people
who have/had cancer? Yes. But I have never had somebody really close to me have cancer,
which makes it kind of weird that I love Relay so much. My reasons are just a little different
than others. Last year, I walked with a fellow ninja for a little while, and we did some talking.
We talked about how most people ask, “Why does this have to happen to me? Why can’t it be
somebody else?” I ask the opposite, “Why not me? Why do I watch other people go through all
this crap, but not have to go through it myself?” And honestly, I have no idea what the answer
is. Although when I was walking with this fellow ninja I started to understand a little bit why.
When this fellow ninja starting naming the people she’s known who have had cancer, including
her parents and many other family members or close friends, I just wanted to start crying
because I don’t understand why some people have to go through it over and over again, and
people like me have never had to go through it. Watching people go through stuff -- whether
it’s having a friend or family member fight cancer or something completely different -- makes
me think. It’s not that I have never gone through something hard, it’s just I haven’t had to
see someone close to me have cancer or anything that extreme. Because of this, I want to
help destroy cancer -- that way I never have to go through it myself, or watch anyway else go
through it again.

How has taekwondo helped?
Taekwondo teaches us to be courteous. You can simply be courteous by attending Relay.
Taekwondo teaches us to honor ourselves and other people. I honor people who have fought
cancer and are fighting cancer. Taekwondo teaches us to be respectful. I have a lot of respect,
not only for the people or have/had cancer, but for the people who make Relay happen.
Taekwondo teaches us to set goals. One of my goals is to do as much as I can to fight cancer.
Taekwondo teaches us to persevere. I do my best to persevere all the way through the 18
hours of Relay. Taekwondo teaches us to have a good attitude. I try to have a good attitude
during the last 3 hours when you feel like your feet are about to fall off, and you just want to
flop onto your bed and sleep. You know what? People with cancer don’t get to choose when
they get treatments, when their battle is over, or if they even win the battle. I know people who
have cancer right now who have an attitude I can never imagine having while fighting cancer.
Taekwondo teaches us to be loyal. I want to be loyal to these people.

Why should you be involved?
Relay For Life has truly changed me. It has helped in my passion for helping others, has helped
my friendships grow, and has opened my eyes to how many people have been affected by
cancer. Even if you only come for the luminaria ceremony, I guarantee you will leave with
something you won’t forget anytime soon. From wishing people a happy 4:14 in the morning, to
watching people cry in front of a luminaria bag; from singing the alphabet with friends at 3:30 in
the morning while walking around the track, to crying with a friend when they’re thinking about
the people they’ve lost; from painting your brother’s finger nails pink at three in the morning, to
sitting around a fire with good friends; from skipping around the track in the middle of the night
with friends, to walking around the track watching people cry together remembering those they
lost to cancer; from taking your cow for a jog, to having some of the best talks you’ve ever had
with a close friend; from laughing about nothing because you’re so overtired, to listening to the
names being called of people who have had cancer; from the wonderful foot rubs a friend gives
after walking fifteen hours, to watching the survivors lap -- whether it’s for an hour, or twenty
hours, Relay For Life is something everyone should experience.

June 1-2, 2012
Ellsworth Elementary-Middle School

CELEBRATE.

REMEMBER.

FIGHT BACK.

If you would like to donate you can click here: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/
RFLFY12NE?px=16482972&pg=personal&fr_id=39837

Your money will go straight to my team, which will go straight Relay, which will go straight to thefight against cancer!

working as a team...a shout out to my awesome co-workers

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 20:07:23 -0500

I have the BEST co-workers!! My "day job" outside of martial arts is an intense one. There is a lot of stress with few opportunities for a break. People always say to me "I don't know how you do it". Honestly, I couldn't imagine doing anything else...and one of the reasons is because I love my co-workers!

Working in a job like mine creates a bond among co-workers that doesn't happen in other job settings. We have stories from work that we can only share with one another. We have shared victories along with matching frustrations. It's a work environment that can bring out your worst one day, and then allow you to shine the next.

This is a job in which we have to be open and honest with each other. We have to be able to have difficult conversations at times and then there are times when we are able to praise and support one another. In this job you need be open and able to discuss issues freely and without judgment. You need to be able to have the courage to critique a colleague while at the same time be able to accept criticism yourself. This may be hard, but this also allows us to be able to plan and problem solve together. We are free to collaborate and share ideas and insights.

The bond I have with my co-workers is unique and special! This week I've been out for medical reasons and I have been so touched by the genuine concern and support I have received from my friends at work! I have been stuck at home missing their humor and companionship!

Recently on the news their was discussion of what a person would do if they were to win the lottery. There was a large vote for "quitting your job". I can't imagine quitting either of my jobs! How blessed am I? To be doing something I simply enjoy and would want to do it even if I didn't need the income my job provides. I love the kids I work with, but having wonderful coworkers makes the love of my job complete.

Highlighting a student leader....2nd Degree Black Belt Miss. Jenna

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:20:50 -0500

Early this month I began highlighting some of our black belt leaders to demonstrate the exceptional qualities that training in the martial arts can help our young people achieve.

Miss. Jenna is 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. She has been training in the martial arts since the age of 7 and has achieved her 2nd degree black belt. Although Jenna was hesitant to write about herself, she agreed to let me talk to her about how leadership qualities learned in the martial arts has helped her in other areas of her life.

Jenna is a student at our local technical school. She is working in the early childhood program. She was honored early this year as student of the month for the school. Only one student from each program receive this honor every year. Jenna's teacher picked her due to her dedication to the program, her exceptional grades (98 average) , her creativity and ability to think quick on her feet and the rapport she has with the children in the preschool she works in.

Jenna states that she chose this program because she simply enjoys being around children. She has worked with children her whole life and knows she has an ability to connect with kids in a way a lot of people don't. She confesses that kids behaviors can at times be difficult, but even that can be challenging and in the end rewarding to deal with. When asked how she deals with behaviors she says that they simply give the kids a warning and then if that doesn't work she follows up with time in the quiet chair. Jenna feels that because she is consistent with expectations, the kids respond to her in a way they don't with other people.

Jenna especially enjoys her times as lead teacher. The lead teacher is responsible for creating the days schedule, assigning tasks to her peers and ensuring the program is run correctly throughout the morning. Jenna communicated that she enjoys being able to step back, see where the needs are and then help out. When asked if all the teens enjoy this role she quickly responded that they didn't. It's hard to be in a leadership position with your peers, especially when dealing with having to correct a peer or ask them to do something they may not want to do. Jenna acknowledges that part of the job is hard, but that she didn't mind doing it and that she knew when to ask for help from the classroom instructor if she felt she needed it.

It is rare for a first year student to be picked as student of the month, which makes the honor even more remarkable. What I love, is that Jenna, along with my other black belt leaders, don't even see themselves as different. They view their actions to be normal and don't understand why it's hard for others to demonstrate these leadership qualities. Now don't get me wrong, martial arts isn't the only way to create a leader. What I do know, is that leadership is a consistent result of long term martial arts training. Are these kids perfect....NO! What kids is? These kids DO consistently perform above and beyond their peers in areas that matter. Click here to see the article written about Jenna at HCTC

One Day Without Shoes--Are you socially Aware? What do you care about?

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 10:45:31 -0500

Proud my kids go to a church that supports social awareness! Even prouder as I watch MY kids become more socially aware!

Today I'm going with out shoes so that I can be reminded that their are people in the world who go without shoes every day!
I had a meeting at EHS this morning where, thanks to one of our students, is supporting this cause. As I got out of my car, into the 38 degrees great outdoors, I planted my tender bare feet into a pile of rocks. I thought I'd be smart and walk on the soft grass instead...BIG MISTAKE! The grass was wet with a very cold covering of dew. It felt like walking on snow with bare feet. I reflexively returned to the pavement, but now that my feet were wet and cold, the rocks on the pavement hurt even more! Needless to say, the rest of the walk into school was down right painful. I quickly understood the importance of this day. I defiantly am more "socially aware" of the problems surrounding those who don't own shoes. I'm very proud of these young people for participating in this cause and I'm thankful for the adults in their lives who also have supported them. Easter Sunday our church went without shoes. We drove into the parking lot on Sunday to barefoot parking attendants, who were standing outside in the SNOW! PROUD PROUD PROUD

Are you socially aware? Do you have causes you actively support? Or are you so wrapped up in your own day to day living you aren't seeing the problems others around you are suffering. Perspective is a great gift. I find dealing with my own issues easier when I put my "issues" in perspective. I find how I treat others is different when I'm caring for others more then I'm caring for myself! What I value is different, how I spend my money is different, how I look at my job is different.

I have causes I care about; Autism, Mental Illness, Bullying......these are things I actively try to stay educated on and also donate my extra time and resources to. Are you able to quickly, of the top of your head name a cause you support? If not, then why not?

Be a Rebel-Support the Positive! What does this mean? Discussing the theme of the 1st annual ninja recital!

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 16:04:24 -0500

Be a rebel, support the positive...what does that mean? We will be teaching this concept in our up coming production, but let me explain it briefly right now.

We live in a society where we are competing....Who's the best? Who's the prettiest? Who's the most popular? We are so busy 'one-upping' each other we lose sight of all we could achieve if we'd only come together and blend our differences! Doing this would take a rebellion against society! We want to create individuals who will lead the way!

What does our society consider normal? It's normal not to practice good manners. It's normal to be deceitful. It's normal to put yourself before others. It's normal to be unethical in getting ahead. I want to teach rebellious behavior! I want my students to treat others the way they want to be treated. I want my students to be loyal, respectful, courteous and to show integrity. I want them to persevere and NOT to find shortcuts to avoid difficulty. I want my students to be humble and to respect authority. I want my students to be able to have the self confidence needed to communicate with others instead of resorting to gossip and back stabbing. I want my students to confront problems head on and NOT be passive aggressive. I want my students to lead by example!

It's EASY to be negative! It's usually our first instinct! It takes hard work and determination to conquer this monster of negativity!

Thoughts from our Black Belt Leaders: Guest Blogger 3rd degree black belt Hailee C./Lessons Learned from 12 years of Training

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:39:45 -0500

I have asked some of our black belts to be guest bloggers this month and discuss their perspective on the leadership skills gained from training in the martial arts. My first response was from 3rd degree black belt, Hailee C. Hailee has been training in martial arts since age 5. She is now 18 and a Senior in High School.

    I remember the day clearly. At five years old I stood in the middle of my local YMCA gymnasium looking around at the mats and punching bags thinking I was way out of my league. Turns out I was right. Taekwondo isn’t something a person can randomly perform. It takes years of dedication, patience, and hard work to master the technique and confidence I witnessed that day. After realizing the challenge I was up against, I became frightened and concerned that I wouldn’t be able to complete the tasks I was given. But with the support of my family, help from my friends, and guidance from my instructors I stand here today, a high ranking teacher of Taekwondo.
    Most people believe martial arts is simply about violence, but what they don’t realize is that it teaches individuals so much more. As a Taekwondo student I was taught the significance of morals and the importance of life lessons. I have learned that the type of virtues you treasure determine the type of person you are, as well as the type you will become. At first, training was about self defense and learning how to feel powerful when standing next to a punching bag. After a few lessons however, my instructor started to stress the importance of self-control, integrity, courtesy, respect, and many other virtues. One virtue I took to heart was honesty. My instructor told us that an honest person is someone who has a moral code to guide their thoughts and actions, and by having honesty you are loyal to yourself and others. She also stated that without honesty, honor is not possible. Honor and respect from others, as well as from yourself, is something a majority of people expect and/or strive for. Understanding the importance of honesty was just one stepping stone in the process of becoming the person I am this very day. Other important steps have included learning humility and modesty.
    Humility and modesty are two attributes I have learned from my instructor over the years. I have strived to achieve humility during my own classes and continue to take modesty into consideration before making all decisions. I will admit that as a first time student in Taekwondo I wasn’t very impressive to watch. I had no idea what technique, balance, or control were in relation to performing martial arts. My job was to learn the concepts and understand how to better myself. My instructor could have taken one look at me and laughed from my obvious lack of fighting education and the pure embarrassment written all over my face. But instead of humiliating me further she embraced my passion and ran with it. Today I can tell you I have progressed farther than any of my peers, as I am the only remaining one from my original class. My instructor never once laughed at my attempts to increase my skill regardless of how ridiculous I may have looked or sounded. Instead of disregarding my spirit for the sport she used helpful critique methods and positive feedback to encourage me to continue an activity I loved so much. The day my instructor left the martial arts school to pursue new experiences presented a new adversity for both the new owners and myself. I was now the highest ranking individual in the school and was required to accept my position below the new owners despite the fact that I outranked them. The transition was smooth due to the fact that I understood I may have outranked them, but afforded them the respect they were due as owners of the business. As an instructor today I recall these memories and apply them when working with my own students in hope that one day they will have learned to value these concepts as I did.
    My fellow classmates have reminded me over the years that just because I am modest doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to boast. Keeping a positive attitude and persevering though difficult tasks deserves recognition from both myself and others in my support system. This is something that applies to everyone, and I remind my own students of this as well. After addressing the concept of setting goals and talking about self-control within those goals, I remind them that once achieving their goals they are allowed to celebrate. Goals focus our efforts and light our paths. In order to accomplish our goals we must be determined to persevere through whatever is necessary. After putting so much effort into an ambition, praising ourselves for what we have done is completely acceptable. By doing this we mark the date we reached our target and the date of a new dream.
    As of this past September it has been twelve years since my very first Taekwondo class and five years since I taught my very first class. The change in my personality from both those days is enormous and my accomplishments as a student and an instructor continue to grow. Martial Arts has served me well during my lifetime and I truly believe I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. This sport has effected me and the people around me in more ways than I can count. I have developed an attitude that can help me to reach my highest goals, yet keep me grounded. I have thrived in my relationships with family, friends, and strangers due to the effortless respect and courtesy I show them. I have established a sense of integrity and generated a passion for loyalty and kindness regardless of what I am doing. It takes years of dedication, patience, and hard work to master the technique and confidence I witnessed the day of my first Taekwondo class. The difference today is that I am no longer that little girl standing in the middle of the gymnasium. I am instead the experienced fighter embracing the power of the mats and the punching bags and I take that responsibility with great pride. I have mastered the technique and confidence.